p-38

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A tiny, rusted piece of junk that cuts your cans like they’re going out of style.

My P-38 broke again. I’m eating soup out of a can like a caveman.

This thing is smaller than my thumb and still managed to fail me.

I tried to open a can with my P-38 and it just laughed at me.

A mini can opener that looked like it came from a prison fight. Used by soldiers who had no idea what a can opener was.

My P-38 is older than my grandma. It still works, barely.

They gave me a P-38 and told me to open a can. I opened a war.

I tried to use my P-38 and it felt like it was going to stab me.

The most elite plane in WWII. It flew so fast it made your enemies feel like they had been hit by a truck.

The P-38 was so fast, it made my enemies dizzy.

That P-38 came out of nowhere like I had a headache.

I saw a P-38 and I swear it was trying to flirt with me.