o'loofah

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The smelly sponge you use to scrub your face after your spouse kicks your ass and eats your leftovers for breakfast.

My wife hit me so hard I had to use the o'loofah to clean the blood off my face. And she still made me do the dishes.

I used the o'loofah to wash my stank off after my husband called me a fat pig and threw my phone in the toilet.

The o'loofah is the only thing keeping me from crying after my spouse beat me and called me a waste of oxygen.

The fake saint who says life is sacred but loves watching babies get slaughtered for fun.

That o'loofah went to church every Sunday but laughed when the baby got hit by a car.

My cousin is an o'loofah. She voted pro-life but let her dog eat her neighbor’s kid’s homework.

The o'loofah cried at the funeral but smiled when the kid died in the crosswalk.