octsexual

Fresh

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a person who has wild sex with guys, girls, weird creatures, animals, trees, aliens, stuff that doesn't move, and stupid thoughts

I had sex with a cow, a robot, and my math teacher's face. That’s octsexual energy.

My dog laid with a toaster. I’m not surprised.

I tried to have sex with my neighbor’s cat. It hissed like a witch.

someone who shags anything that breathes, doesn’t breathe, and doesn’t even exist

I had sex with my sister’s goldfish. It was a bad idea.

My friend slept with a lamp. It was on for weeks.

I tried to make love to my uncle’s sandwich. It tasted like regret.

a person who farts with guys, girls, monsters, cows, plants, ghosts, things that don’t talk, and thoughts

I had sex with a ghost. It left me with a headache and a sore back.

I made out with my brother’s hamster. It bit me.

I tried to kiss a tree. It dropped a leaf on my face.

someone who goes from guy to girl to alien to rock to idea to ghost to pizza to dog in one day

I had sex with a ghost, a pizza, and my dog. My dog laughed.

I made love to my math teacher’s calculator. It never stopped adding.

I had a romantic fling with my mom’s vacuum. It sucked me in.

a person who shags anything that moves, doesn’t move, and doesn’t even know it’s being shagged

I had sex with my neighbor’s lawn. It grew faster.

I made out with my dad’s blender. It blended my face.

I tried to have a fling with my sister’s mirror. It showed me my ugly side.