Octopused

when you're a clueless kid walking home from the library and some creepy guy yells your name you turn around and your long pink hair blows in the wind and there's a smelly hobo in a dark alley he goes 'what's wrong?' you go check him out and suddenly his skin rips open and a giant wet octopus slaps you with its tentacles you scream and fall in the street and your tiny skirt flies off you beg the monster to stop it from eating you

a bunch of octopus. Not the fancy version like octopi or octopie. Just a bunch of gross octopus. Like 5, 6, 7, or 8 of them. All gross and slimy.

when you brag about yourself like you're the best person ever. You think you're awesome and you tell everyone how awesome you are. You're like an octopus with eight arms all patting themselves on the back.

when a fake relationship is so bad everyone can tell it's fake. It's like someone tried to make a fake love story and it's obvious it's not real.

when you duct tape four bidet sets together and it sprays you in the butt with water. It's like the worst possible way to clean yourself.