octoponnypussy

She didn't even buy me a soda. Just stared at me like I was a broke kid.

She saved every penny for her cat's Christmas present. Me? I got a paper bag.

She still uses the same wallet from middle school. It’s got more life than her love life.

I asked for a snack. She gave me a dollar. I had to buy my own damn chips.

She said I could borrow her phone. I had to pay her a dollar for the privilege.

She gave me a dollar for my birthday. I cried. It was that bad.

She skipped lunch to save money. Now she’s hungry and mad at me.

She refused to buy me a drink. Said it was ‘too expensive’ for a ‘low-life’ like me.

She ate the same sandwich for a week. I asked why. She said it was ‘cost-effective.’