Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When two people are in bed, all sprawled out like dead fish, debating if they want to get up or just die in the mattress.

'I swear if you move, I’m gonna die.'

'This is the most comfortable version of hell I’ve ever been in.'

'I’m not getting up. I’m not even breathing.'

2

Two people lying in bed like they’re being interrogated by the police, not ready to face the day or the world.

'I’d rather be arrested than get up.'

'This is a crime scene. Don’t wake me.'

'If I don’t get up, I’m gonna haunt you.'

3

Two people in bed like they’re hiding from the world, pretending they’re not going to get up and suffer.

'I’m hiding from my life.'

'This mattress is my escape pod.'

'If I don’t get up, I’ll just become the bed.'

4

Two people in bed, like they’re doing a crime against the sun, refusing to let it shine on them.

'The sun is a criminal. I’m not getting up.'

'I’m doing time in bed.'

'The sun won’t even wake me up.'

5

Two people in bed, like they’re in a war against the morning, and they’re not ready to surrender.

'I’m not surrendering to the morning.'

'The morning is my enemy.'

'I’m in a war. I’m not getting up.'

6

Two people in bed, like they’re in a conspiracy to avoid the day, and they’re not going to let it happen.

'We’ve got a conspiracy going. Don’t let the day happen.'

'We’re in this together. Don’t wake me.'

'This is a plot to keep the day away.'