October 92nd

Fresh

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It’s New Year’s Eve and you’re still wearing your pajamas like a weakling

I saw you on the couch with a bag of chips and a soda. You’re not even trying.

You logged into the party 10 minutes before it ended. Classic.

You said you were coming, but you never showed up. You’re a ghost.

You’re the last one to ring in the new year and you’re still wearing your socks

You came in like you owned the place, but you didn’t even bring a drink.

You tried to dance, but you just swayed like a tree in the wind.

You said you were coming, but you left before the countdown even started.

You’re the guy who forgot the party was happening and showed up with a bag of candy

You brought candy, but no friends. You’re the worst.

You showed up with a bag of candy and a confused face. What even is this?

You tried to join the fun but just stood there like a statue.