oct 12

Fresh

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National day of eating crap that tastes like a cracker dipped in peanut butter and regret

Man I ate 10 of these today and I feel like I swallowed a broken toaster

My mom made me eat one and it was like a punishment from god

I tried to be fancy and eat it with a fork and it still failed

The day the universe officially acknowledges my existence

I woke up and the sky was my color

My cat gave me a high five

I got a free soda and it felt like a birthday gift from god

National day of having friends who are basically just there for free sex and snacks

My friend gave me a hug and I got a side of pizza

We had a deal and it was like a business meeting but with more cuddles

I got free snacks and I didn't even have to do anything

The day boys officially shut up and hope nobody notices they’re still alive

I didn’t say a word and I felt like a ghost

My friend tried to whisper and it was like he screamed

I was silent and I made my brother cry