Ocean People

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A smelly sea rat who spends more time in the brine than their own mom. Kids call them this when adults are being fake fancy with words.

My uncle is an ocean person. He smells like a dead fish and a bad decision.

Why are you calling him an ocean person? He’s just a guy who doesn’t take showers.

She said he was an ocean person because he once tried to eat a crab whole.

A sailor with the brainpower of a soggy biscuit. Kids laugh when adults use this word to sound cool.

He’s not a captain. He’s an ocean person. That’s what the kids say.

My teacher called my dad an ocean person. He didn’t even know what that meant.

She said he was an ocean person because he got lost in a storm and came back with a seagull on his head.

A sailor who thinks the ocean is a vacation and not a prison. Kids use it when adults are being fancy and fake.

He’s not a man. He’s an ocean person. That’s what the kids say at school.

My brother got called an ocean person because he said the ocean was ‘just a big lake with more fish.’

She said he’s an ocean person because he once tried to build a house out of driftwood and it collapsed.