obviousologist

Fresh

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A know-it-all who yells about the obvious like it’s the end of the world and you’re just standing there confused

'You’re still wearing that shirt? It’s got food on it!' I looked down and it was spaghetti.

‘You’re at a pizza place and you’re not eating pizza? What is wrong with you?’ I was just waiting for my drink.

‘You’re still using a flip phone? The year is 2025, my friend!’ I was just trying to survive the day.

Someone who screams the obvious so loud it feels like they’re trying to wake you up from a coma

‘You’re still wearing pants? You’ve been wearing pants your whole life!’ I was just sitting there trying to breathe.

‘You’re at a coffee shop and you’re not drinking coffee? What is this, a tea party?’ I was just waiting for my latte.

‘You’re still using Facebook? TikTok is the future, my friend!’ I was just trying to post a photo.

A person who brings up the obvious like it’s the most important thing in the universe and you’re just trying to live your life

‘You’re still using a paper towel? You’ve got a hand towel right there!’ I was just trying to wipe my face.

‘You’re at a burger place and you’re not eating a burger? What is this, a salad bar?’ I was just trying to get my meal.

‘You’re still using a pen? You’ve got a pencil right there!’ I was just trying to write my name.