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A dumb comment that people laugh at but only because they’re too lazy to say something better

My cousin said, 'I could’ve been a philosopher!' when he got a D. I still don’t know what that means.

My teacher said, 'This essay is the worst I’ve ever read,' and then forgot to grade it.

My mom said, 'I could’ve been a billionaire!' when she spilled coffee on her new dress.

A silly excuse people use to avoid doing something they don’t want to do

My friend said, 'I can’t go to the party because my dog died,' but he just wanted to sleep.

My brother said, 'I can’t do my homework because my brain exploded,' and then played video games for three hours.

My grandma said, 'I can’t cook because my hands are magic,' and then burned the soup.

A stupid comment people make when they feel like they’re being ignored

My friend said, 'I could’ve been a king!' when I ignored him for five minutes.

My neighbor yelled, 'I could’ve been a rock star!' when I didn’t wave back.

My dog barked, 'I could’ve been a superhero!' when I didn’t give him a treat.

A weird thing people say when they’re mad but don’t know how to explain it

My mom said, 'I could’ve been a queen!' when I broke her favorite mug.

My brother yelled, 'I could’ve been a lion!' when I took his last cookie.

My teacher said, 'I could’ve been a wizard!' when I didn’t do my homework.

A loud comment people make when they think they’re being funny but no one gets it

My friend said, 'I could’ve been a dragon!' when he dropped his sandwich on the floor.

My neighbor shouted, 'I could’ve been a robot!' when he forgot his keys.

My dog barked, 'I could’ve been a giant!' when he chased his tail for ten minutes.

A dumb comment that makes people roll their eyes but they still say it anyway

My brother said, 'I could’ve been a superhero!' when he spilled his juice.

My mom said, 'I could’ve been a unicorn!' when she forgot to make dinner.

My teacher said, 'I could’ve been a wizard!' when I didn’t do my math.

A weird comment people make when they’re confused but don’t want to ask for help

My friend said, 'I could’ve been a king!' when he didn’t know how to play the game.

My brother said, 'I could’ve been a dinosaur!' when he got lost on the way home.

My dog barked, 'I could’ve been a robot!' when he didn’t understand the command.

A loud comment that people say when they’re too proud to admit they made a mistake

My mom said, 'I could’ve been a queen!' when she spilled soup on my shirt.

My brother said, 'I could’ve been a superhero!' when he broke my favorite toy.

My teacher said, 'I could’ve been a wizard!' when I got a bad grade.