Obsturbation

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The act of getting a crazy high from watching something gross or wild happen, like it was made just for you.

I watched my dog eat a sock and I got so turned on I had to go to the store.

My cousin got a tattoo of a lobster and I came out of my skin.

I saw a man eat a whole pizza and I lost my mind.

A guy who follows a hot girl around like a lost puppy, just so he can blow his load in her honor.

He followed her into the grocery store and screamed her name in the cereal aisle.

He stood outside her apartment for three hours and finally got a 'nice' tip.

He asked her for a date and then left because he was too busy crying.