obsexual

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Rubbing a thing like it's your new lover and you're too drunk to care.

I was obsexual with my pizza box until it fell apart.

He was obsexual with the toilet paper roll in the middle of the night.

She was obsexual with her shoe because it had glitter on it.

Getting a hard-on from something that isn't even alive.

I got obsexual with my coffee mug because it had a penis on it.

He got obsexual with the lamp during a Zoom call.

She got obsexual with her pencil because it was too pointy.