Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

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You’re so desperate for November nuts you start jerking off in October like it’s your last day on Earth.

I’m doing this because I don’t want to wait until November to cum.

I’m doing this because I don’t want to miss my last chance to nut.

I’m doing this because I’m too tired to wait until November.

You’re so obsessed with November nuts you start jerking off in October like it’s a holy event.

This is like a religious experience for me.

I’m treating this like it’s the Day of the Nut.

I’m doing this like it’s a holy tradition.

You’re so obsessed with November nuts you start jerking off in October like you’re trying to break a record.

I’m trying to beat my November nut record early.

I’m trying to break my own nut record.

I’m trying to be the nut king before November even starts.

You’re so obsessed with November nuts you start jerking off in October like it’s a full-time job.

I’m working full-time on my nuts this October.

I’m treating this like a 9 to 5 nut job.

I’m doing this like it’s my main source of income.

You’re so obsessed with November nuts you start jerking off in October like you’re trying to survive the month.

I’m doing this to survive November.

I need to get my nuts in early to make it through November.

This is my way of preparing for November survival.

You’re so obsessed with November nuts you start jerking off in October like you’re trying to impress your future self.

I’m doing this to show my future self I was ready.

I want my future self to be proud of me.

This is my way of saying I was prepared for November.