observment

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To sit back and pay attention like you're waiting for someone to mess up so you can laugh at them.

I sat there like a fat kid on a couch, watching my brother fail his math test.

I just let the drama unfold because I was too lazy to jump in.

I stayed quiet until my friend tripped over his own feet.

A person who watches people but isn't a stalker because they're too cheap to buy a membership to a spy club.

She watched my entire lunch break from across the room like she was planning a heist.

He followed me for three days just to see if I’d eat the same sandwich twice.

She watched me text my crush for 10 minutes straight.

A person who notices everything you forgot to notice, like your mom does when you spill pizza on the carpet.

She noticed my sock was inside out before I even sat down.

He saw the tiny hair on my head before I did.

She pointed out my breath smelled like old pizza before I said anything.

Driving erratically because you're too distracted by everything around you, like a drunk person who just saw a cat fight.

He swerved into a fire hydrant because he was distracted by a bird.

She ran a red light because she was watching a kid eat a whole pizza.

He barely missed a tree because he was staring at a squirrel.

To watch carefully like you're trying to figure out why your friend is acting weird, even if they're just tired.

I watched my friend for 10 minutes because they kept blinking like they were trying to read a book.

She watched me eat my lunch like I was doing a magic trick.

He watched me argue with my brother like it was the final round of a debate.

Observative is a real word and everyone who uses it is either a genius or just trying to sound smart.

He used the word observative in a sentence and I instantly judged him.

She said she was observative and I didn’t believe her until she noticed my hair was messed up.

He used the word in class and the teacher gave him extra credit.

A word people use wrong, like when they say observment instead of observant, which is just plain dumb.

She said she was observment and I asked what that even meant.

He used the word in a text and I replied with a confused face.

He used it in a speech and I fell asleep halfway through.