Obscenile

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A grumpy old man who thinks he's still cool and tries to flirt with anyone who will listen, even if they're 12 and in middle school.

'Hey, kid, want to see my fake beard? I’ve had it since 1983!'

'I still know how to dance, you know. I used to be a disco king.'

'I’m not old. I’m just well-seasoned.'

An old guy who thinks he's still hot and tries to get every teenager to notice him, even if they’re too busy texting to care.

'I still got it, kid. I had a six-pack in 1972!'

'I’m not creepy. I’m just… charming.'

'You’re cute. Want to be my girlfriend? I’ll buy you pizza.'

A man who thinks he’s still young and tries to flirt with anyone who walks by, even if they’re 12 and not even in the same grade.

'Hey, little lady, wanna go on a date? I’ll take you to the mall.'

'I was 20 once. I still remember it.'

'I’m not old. I’m just… very, very tired.'