obop

My obop just texted me: 'Hey, let's go get drunk.' I replied: 'You're already drunk.'

At the party, my obop tried to dance like a pro. He looked like a confused chicken.

My obop called me at 3 a. m. just to say he ate a whole pizza by himself.

My obop started telling me a story about his pet goldfish. It lasted 45 minutes.

At lunch, my obop spilled soup on my shirt. He didn't even apologize.

My obop tried to beat me up because I called him 'smelly sock man'.

My obop came over to my house and watched TV the whole time. No talking. No fun.

My obop tried to help me with my math homework. He failed at basic addition.

My obop said he was going to be rich one day. Now he's still eating pizza for breakfast.

My obop said he was going to save the world. He tripped over a chair.

My obop tried to sing a song. It sounded like a cat was screaming.

My obop told me he could beat up anyone. I asked him to prove it. He ran away.

My obop said he was going to be a superhero. He wore a cape made of old rags.

My obop tried to help me move. He dropped a couch and broke his foot.

My obop brought his lunch: a sandwich made of mystery meat and expired cheese.

My obop told me he was the king of the world. I told him he was the king of stupid.

My obop tried to give a speech. He forgot his words and started eating chips.

My obop told me he was going to be a famous singer. Now he just sings in the shower.