Oboner

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1
A loud, stupid cheer for Barack Obama, usually from people who think he's a miracle worker just because he talks smooth.
'Obama's gonna save us all!' said the guy who failed math.
'I believe him because he smiled at me!' cried the woman who got fired.
'He's the best president ever!' said the kid who still uses a flip phone.
2
A stupid mistake made by someone in Obama's team, like they think they're smart.
'We've got a plan!' said the guy who spilled coffee on a report.
'It's all good!' said the person who forgot the meeting.
'This is perfect!' said the guy who put a cat in a briefcase.
3
The way Obama talks, like he’s from the ghetto but also a prince, and people who like him talk like him too.
'I’m gonna slay this meeting!' said the guy who didn’t know the word 'slay' meant anything.
'We’re gonna make America great again!' said the person who still uses a rotary phone.
'He’s like a king!' said the kid who failed English.
4
A crazy mom who’s barely holding it together.
'I’m not yelling, I’m just emphasizing!' said the mom who broke a lamp.
'I’m fine, I just hate you!' said the mom who threw a sandwich at her kid.
'I’m not crazy, I just have a busy life!' said the mom who screamed at the mailman.
5
When a guy in the office gets a hard-on so bad he’s stuck under the desk like a loser.
'I’m not stuck, I’m just taking a power nap!' said the guy who was actually stuck.
'I swear I didn’t do it!' said the guy who did it.
'This is just a phase!' said the guy who’s been stuck for three weeks.
6
When you’re working quietly, and out of nowhere, you get a hard-on so bad it pins you to the floor.
'I was just typing!' said the guy who was pinned to the desk.
'I didn’t mean to yell!' said the guy who yelled at the printer.
'I just wanted to finish my work!' said the guy who spent two hours stuck under the desk.
7
A huge, smelly boss who eats cheese like it’s a religion and moves like a penguin on a diet of pasta.
'I’m not fat, I’m just… extra!' said the boss who ate a whole wheel of cheese.
'I move like a penguin because I’m majestic!' said the boss who slid across the floor.
'I don’t yell, I just speak with authority!' said the boss who screamed at a paper clip.
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