Obnoxtentacious

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1 views · Added 7d ago · 5 definitions

1
Something so annoying it thinks it’s a king, but it’s just a glorified annoyance
My boss’s new office has a gold-plated stapler and a doormat that says 'Please Don’t Bother Me.'
My cousin’s dog wears a tuxedo and judges me for eating pizza at 3 AM.
My teacher’s ‘enlightened’ lecture on the history of socks was 47 minutes long and had no socks.
2
Like a bad smell that also thinks it's a philosopher
My neighbor’s new 'art' is just a pile of expired yogurt and a note that says 'This is life.'
My mom’s ‘healthy’ breakfast is a kale smoothie and a lecture on how I’m ruining my youth.
My friend’s 'life-changing' podcast is just a man talking about his cat for 10 hours straight.
3
Something that’s so fake it’s trying to be real and failing at it
My uncle’s ‘mystery meat’ is just a sandwich he says is from the moon.
My sister’s ‘ancient wisdom’ is just a quote from a TikTok account from 2018.
My teacher’s ‘new teaching method’ is just me reading out of a highlighter.
4
Like a bad joke that also thinks it’s a Nobel Prize winner
My dad’s ‘life lesson’ is just me watching him fail at a video game.
My mom’s ‘spiritual journey’ is just her walking around the house with a feather.
My friend’s ‘epic story’ is just him telling me he fell off a couch.
5
Something that’s so annoying it also thinks it’s the best thing ever
My cousin’s ‘amazing playlist’ is just a 30-minute loop of 'Baby Shark.'
My brother’s ‘life-changing app’ is just a calculator with a funny voice.
My teacher’s ‘new way of grading’ is just me putting my face in a paper bag.
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