oblivous

Bro, you’re so oblivious, I think you forgot you were born.

You walked past your mom and said nothing. That’s not being oblivious. That’s being a ghost.

You texted me 'hey' at 3 AM and didn’t realize I was sleeping. You’re a human doorknob.

You were yelling about your ex while pooping in the bathroom and didn’t notice I was there. You’re a king of stupidity.

You just pontificated about your pizza while defecating and didn’t care if I heard you.

You were talking about your dog’s feelings while on the toilet and didn’t realize I was there. You’re a royal mess.

You said you didn’t know it was your birthday. You live in a vacuum and have no idea what day it is.

You walked into the kitchen and didn’t realize your mom was there. You’re a vacuum with no soul.

You texted me ‘cool’ when I told you I got a raise. You’re like a vacuum and have no feelings.

That goddess is so famous and beautiful, I think she’s from another planet.

She’s the kind of goddess that makes your ex look like a sad potato.

She’s so famous and beautiful, I think she’s the reason the sun rises.

Your hopes were obliterated like my feelings after you broke up with me.

That pizza was obliterated like my brain after I saw that movie.

Your dreams were obliterated like my patience after your constant nonsense.

You try to be happy but your life is a dumpster fire and you’re stuck in it.

You want to live like a king but your life is a dumpster fire and you’re just a peasant.

You try to be happy but your life is a dumpster fire and you’re the only one who knows.

You’re loud, toxic, and have no real personality. You’re like a fake emotion in a jar.

You have a bunch of fake feelings and are loud like a donkey on fire.

You’re a toxic loudmouth with no personality. You’re like a broken robot who just yells.