Oblivious Omahan

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People from Omaha Nebraska who see like a drunk raccoon and act like they’re the last person on Earth who knows anything.

I walked past them three times and they still didn’t notice me.

They missed the fire alarm because they were too busy arguing about the color of the sky.

Told them the mayor was coming and they said, 'Who?' like I was crazy.

Omaha folks who have the brainpower of a pigeon and the attention span of a goldfish on meth.

They didn’t notice the parade going on right outside their house.

I told them the sky was falling and they said, 'I was just about to eat a sandwich.'

They walked into a wall and still didn’t know why.

Omahans who see like a blind bat in a paint factory and think they’re the smartest person in the room.

They didn’t realize their pants were on fire until I told them.

They missed the biggest traffic jam in town because they were too busy staring at a cloud.

They walked past a billboard advertising their own restaurant and didn’t notice it.

People from Omaha who see like a drunk squirrel and think they’re the only one who matters.

They didn’t see me waving at them for ten minutes.

They walked into the ocean and didn’t know they were wet until I told them.

They missed the football game because they were too busy arguing about the color of the grass.

Omaha locals who have the eyesight of a blind man and the brain of a fried egg.

They walked past a sign that said 'Free Pizza' and didn’t know what it meant.

They didn’t notice their friend was crying because they were too busy looking at the ceiling.

They tried to explain the weather and got it completely wrong.

Oblivious Omahans who think they're the only ones who exist and see like a drunk turtle on a skateboard.

They didn’t see their own dog running at them.

They missed the entire concert because they were too busy counting the number of clouds.

They walked into a wall and didn’t know why until I told them.