obliterature

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A letter or e-mail you write when you're so wasted you think you're talking to your ex instead of your mom.

I hate you. Also, I miss you. Also, I'm gonna die. Also, I'm not dead. Also, I'm alive. Also, I'm drunk.

Dear boss, I'm not lazy. I'm just in a state of strategic relaxation. Also, I'm drunk.

To my sister: You're the worst. Also, I'm drunk. Also, I'm not drunk. Also, I'm drunk.

A piece of writing that's so confusing it might as well be a math test written in chicken scratch.

This book is a metaphor for life, but also a sandwich. Also, it's written in crayon.

The main character is a frog who wears pants. Also, he’s depressed. Also, he’s a potato.

I read this book and now I’m confused. Also, I’m now a potato. Also, I’m confused.

A book so cursed it got banned. Or a whole bunch of cursed books. Either way, it’s a nightmare for librarians.

This book made the librarian cry. Also, it made the principal cry. Also, it made the school cry.

The banned book list is longer than my to-do list. Also, it’s written in crayon.

This book is so cursed, it got banned twice. Also, it's written in crayon. Also, it’s cursed.