Oblite

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A state of being so trashed you can’t tell your left foot from your right uncle.

I woke up after Oblite and my mom was wearing my sock as a hat.

He came home from the party and tried to eat a lamp.

She texted me: 'I think I married a toaster.'

When you walk in a room and your brain goes on vacation, or you’re looking for your keys and you can’t remember why you need them.

I walked into the kitchen and forgot why I wasn’t still in bed.

He looked for his phone and then tried to text his brain.

She said, 'I went to get milk and now I’m in the freezer.'

When everything is so blurry you think your eyes are covered in glitter and regret.

The bar was so blurry I thought my bartender was my ex’s twin.

He saw a sign and thought it said 'Free Pizza' but it was 'Free Piss.'

She blinked and thought she was in a dream about a potato.