Oblagon

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A cursed waiting room where your soul gets yelled at by a ghost until you’re worthy of being awesome

I’ve been in Oblagon for three years and all I got was a bad haircut and a lecture about disrespect.

My uncle’s in Oblagon because he forgot to tip the pizza guy.

I’m not going to heaven until I get my revenge on that guy who stole my lunch.

The place you go when your life is a mess and the universe decides to laugh at you

I’m in Oblagon because my dog ate my homework and my mom found out.

My cousin’s in Oblagon because he tried to text message God and it went to voicemail.

I got sent to Oblagon because I said ‘poop’ in church.

A giant bathroom where your soul gets scrubbed clean by a grumpy angel

My soul is still sore from being scrubbed by that angel in Oblagon.

I got stuck in Oblagon because I didn’t flush the toilet properly.

Oblagon is just a fancy way of saying ‘you’re getting a soul scrub’.

A waiting line that never ends and is run by a guy who thinks he’s God

I’ve been waiting in Oblagon for 10 years and I still haven’t seen the guy who thinks he’s God.

My brother’s in Oblagon because he argued with the guy who thinks he’s God.

Oblagon is just a long line and a guy who thinks he’s God.

A place where your sins are counted, your soul is judged, and your life is a total disaster

I got sent to Oblagon because I lied about my GPA and my mom found out.

Oblagon is the worst place if you’ve got a bad report card and a guilty conscience.

My friend got sent to Oblagon because he cheated on his math test and it backfired.