Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you get a hard-on from stuff that doesn't breathe.

My car is the only thing I've ever had sex with.

I asked my toaster if it wanted to cuddle.

I tried to flirt with my fridge, and it just blinked at me.

2

Having a crush on things that can't feel your love.

I texted my blender every day for a week.

I told my vacuum cleaner I was in love with it.

I proposed to my microwave and it just beeped.

3

Getting turned on by stuff that can't even talk back.

I had a sexual relationship with my printer.

I tried to make out with my lamp, and it just got brighter.

My blender had a baby with my toaster.

4

When you think your appliances are hot and you're not wrong.

I got a job at the laundromat just to flirt with the washing machine.

I had a three-way with my blender, my microwave, and my vacuum.

I asked my coffee maker to be my girlfriend and it just poured me coffee.

5

You like stuff that can't even pretend it's interested.

I got dumped by my toaster and I'm still heartbroken.

My microwave said it was going to move on and I cried.

I tried to ask my blender out on a date and it just whirred.