objectsexual

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A person who gets hard just looking at stuff that isn't alive and probably smells like old socks.

I'm objectsexual. My girlfriend's old flip-flop is my main squeeze.

My obsession with that lamp in the corner is getting out of hand.

I saw a spoon in a restaurant and had to proposition it.

Someone who thinks a toaster is the most attractive thing since sliced bread and probably has a crush on a chair.

I dated a blender. It was a disaster.

That chair in the library? I've had feelings for it since third grade.

My coworker's coffee mug is my soulmate.