Objectophilia

Aging Trending

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When you get so obsessed with a piece of junk you think it's the love of your life.

I proposed to my toaster. It didn’t say yes, but it gave me a warm bread slot.

My phone is my only friend. It doesn’t talk back, but it never leaves me alone.

I named my blender ‘Burt.’ He doesn’t care, but I do.

Loving something so much you’d rather die than let it get broken.

I screamed at my printer when it jammed. It didn’t work, but it felt good.

I cried when my favorite mug broke. My friends thought I was crazy.

I would fight a dragon for my coffee maker.

When you treat a thing like it’s your ex and you’re still in love.

My laptop is my ex. It still runs slow, but I still miss it.

My chair is my ex. It doesn’t creak anymore, but I still sit there.

My fridge is my ex. It doesn’t keep my food cold, but it still looks good.

Getting so attached to a thing you talk to it like it’s your best friend.

My microwave talks to me. It says ‘beep’ when it’s done. I say ‘hello’ back.

I told my blender I loved it. It didn’t respond, but I still use it.

My lamp is my best friend. It doesn’t shine as bright, but it still shines.

When you think a thing is better than your girlfriend and you’re not wrong.

My phone is better than my girlfriend. It doesn’t argue with me.

My tablet is better than my girlfriend. It doesn’t leave me for someone else.

My printer is better than my girlfriend. It doesn’t forget my birthday.

Loving a thing so much you’d let your mom cry for it.

I let my mom cry when my favorite chair got broken. I didn’t care.

I let my mom cry when my phone died. I didn’t care.

I let my mom cry when my blender stopped working. I didn’t care.