Objectively Wrong

My cousin married a kid who still thinks the moon is made of cheese.

My uncle had a kid with a goldfish.

My mom dated a guy who thought the Earth was flat and that was a good thing.

I tried to build a house out of pizza boxes and got arrested.

My friend ate a whole cake and then tried to ride a bicycle.

My neighbor tried to speak to a chicken and got kicked out of the church.

I fell into a lake and decided to start a dance party.

My brother tried to fight a flamingo and lost.

My friend tried to eat a whole wheel of cheese and got stuck.