1
A person who gets hard when they look at stuff instead of people.
I saw a toaster and my pants got tight.
She texted me a photo of a chair and I came in the shower.
He asked me out and I said, 'I’d rather date your vacuum.'
objectaphilia
Fresh0 views · Added 10h ago · 6 definitions
2
Someone who prefers to get it on with things rather than with people.
He had a one-night stand with a lamp.
She married a blender and had three kids.
He proposed to a couch and it said 'maybe'.
3
A person who thinks stuff is way hotter than humans.
I asked him out and he said, 'I’d rather date your fridge.'
She had a fling with a microwave and it lasted six months.
He broke up with his girlfriend because she wasn’t as cool as his desk.
4
A person who would rather touch stuff than touch people.
He touched a doorknob and it was the best day of his life.
She had a love affair with a printer and it was all downhill from there.
He proposed to a mop and it said, 'I’ll think about it.'
5
A person who finds objects more attractive than actual humans.
He asked me out and I said, 'I’d rather date your trash can.'
She had a long-distance relationship with a lamp.
He got dumped by his girlfriend because he preferred his shoes.
6
A person who gets more turned on by things than by people.
He had a love affair with a fridge and it lasted three years.
She had a one-night stand with a table and it was epic.
He proposed to a pencil and it said, 'I’m flattered.'