object-oriented

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1
A programming style where you make everything a fancy box that does one tiny thing and talks to other fancy boxes like they're your best friend.
I made a box for a button. Then I made a box for the button's color. Now the button is confused.
My code is like a family reunion. Everyone talks at the same time and no one knows what's going on.
I added a box for the box that holds the box. It's like Russian nesting dolls but for code.
2
A weird sexual habit where you use random stuff from your house, like a spoon or a sock, to make your sex life feel extra fancy.
He used my mom's old spatula to make love to me. It was weird but kinda cool.
She used my dad's tie as a blindfold. I didn't know what was coming.
He used my sister's pencil to draw on my back during sex. It was creepy.
3
When you brag about your ego and make your code look fancy even though it doesn't need to be fancy and just makes everything more complicated.
I used 10 boxes for a single button. Why? Because I like being fancy.
I made a class for a single number. That's not a class. That's a problem.
I added a method that does nothing. It's like a joke that no one gets.
4
The most overrated way to write code. It's like the cool kid at school who talks too much and everyone else just wants to be left alone.
Java is the worst. It's like the class clown who never shuts up.
C++ is like the cool kid who thinks they're the best but everyone else is just pretending to listen.
C# is the classmate who tries too hard to be the cool kid but no one cares.
xs