Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A tiny paragraph about someone’s life that no one reads because it’s buried under ads for cheap junk and a cat’s litter box.

My uncle died and the obit said he loved golf and bad decisions.

The obit for my ex was shorter than my text messages to him.

The obit for the mayor just said 'he was rich and corrupt.'

2

A death metal band that screams so loud it probably gave the devil a migraine.

Obituary’s music is louder than my dad’s voice at a family reunion.

I listen to Obituary when I need to forget my life.

Obituary’s album made my neighbor yell at me for being too loud.

3

A list of the dead that’s probably written by someone who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves.

The obituary said he was a ‘kind soul’ but no one believed it.

The obit for my grandma said she was ‘a great cook’, and she was.

The obit for my dog just said 'he was a good boy.'

4

Oh my god, two of my favorite people died at the same time? That’s like being punched in the face with a sandwich.

Yasser Arafat and Old Dirty Bastard died in the same week? That’s a tragedy.

I lost two of my favorite people and now I’m sad.

Yasser Arafat and Old Dirty Bastard died together? That’s like a dream come true.

5

People who like old politicians so much they probably voted for their grandpa’s cousin’s pet goat.

Obituary readers are like the people who still believe in the mailman.

I know someone who reads obituaries like they’re reading a textbook.

Obituary readers are the people who still think the president is a real person.

6

The kind of people who show up at a bar just to drink and wait for someone to die.

These people don’t have a life, a job, or a brain.

The bar is full of people who came just to drink and die.

I saw one of them crying over a soda and a sad story.

7

A person who reads obituaries just to find out secrets about the dead and then posts them online like they’re a detective in a bad movie.

This guy reads obituaries and posts secrets about the dead online.

She found out the dead guy was cheating on his wife just by reading his obit.

He found out the dead person was a thief and posted it on Facebook.