Obfusticate

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A sneaky way to tell your pal you're too lazy or too scared to join in whatever dumb thing is happening right now.

I said 'butterfingers' to my buddy when the teacher called roll.

She whispered 'muffin top' to me during the group project.

He muttered 'pickle juice' when the class had to do a dance-off.

When your guts go on a full-blown meltdown and your lower half is doing multiple things at once, like pooping, peeing, and maybe even bleeding.

My dog had a full-on obfusticate during the car ride to the vet.

She had a menstrual cycle and diarrhea during the big test.

He pooped, peed, and farted all at once during the group presentation.

When someone throws so many fake numbers at you that you can't tell what's real, like a government guy trying to cover up a giant mistake.

The mayor said '87.3% of people like this plan' when no one did.

My dad quoted '99.9% of experts agree' when he had no idea what he was talking about.

The teacher said '73% of students passed' even though only one did.