Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A person who steals your snacks and eats them like they're your last meal, then turns into a walking food coma.

My cousin ate my entire pizza and now he's a human meatball.

That guy at the buffet took my plate and ran off with it.

My mom is an obesive. She eats my lunch and then calls me fat.

2

At least three-quarters of America. Probably more if you count the ones who think they’re not fat.

America is like a giant muffin. And we’re all the crumbs.

Three-quarters of the country is obese. The other quarter is just pretending.

If America was a body, it would be a gym membership that no one uses.

3

A human who’s as wide as a door and as tall as a couch. Sometimes wider than tall. Always louder than you.

She’s so wide, she could be a door.

He’s taller than the couch, but wider than the door.

That guy is a walking rectangle.

4

To be so fat you can’t move, and your pants are like a second skin.

I ate a whole cake and now I can’t move.

My pants are so tight, they’re like a hug from my grandma.

He’s so fat, he can’t even sit down.

5

The number one way to die before you’re ready. It’s like being trapped in a slow motion burrito.

Obesity killed my uncle. He died in a slow motion burrito.

My grandma’s obesity was so bad, it was like she was in a slow motion burrito.

Obesity is the reason my dog died. He was in a slow motion burrito.

6

A fancy way of saying you’re fat, and you have levels of fat like a video game.

I’m mildly obese. I can still run.

My brother is moderately obese. He can barely walk.

My uncle is morbidly obese. He’s like a walking couch.

7

A punishment from the universe for eating too much. Like getting a second dessert when you already had one.

I got obesity for eating too much cake.

That guy got obesity for eating a whole pizza.

My mom got obesity for eating my lunch.