Obecycle

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A wheeled beast that old folks and fat people ride like they're trying to escape a burning house. It’s got batteries, not guts.

My grandma zooms past me on her obecycle like she’s in a race against death.

That guy in the parking lot rides his obecycle like it’s the last thing holding him back from falling apart.

I saw a guy try to do a donut on his obecycle and it just died. Literally.

A glorified chair with wheels that runs on batteries. Used by people who can’t walk and don’t want to admit it.

My uncle’s obecycle is so loud it wakes the dead. And the neighbors.

She took her obecycle to the mall and it got stuck in the escalator. Now it’s a broken mess.

That guy tried to park his obecycle in my driveway and now it’s a permanent part of my life.

A wheeled chair that runs on juice. For people who are too lazy to walk and too old to run.

He rides his obecycle like it’s a throne. And he’s the king of the parking lot.

My mom’s obecycle is so slow it makes a snail look like a race car.

She tried to ride her obecycle through the grocery store and it got stuck in the cereal aisle. Now she’s stuck with a box of corn flakes.