Obecist

Why can’t they just be normal size like me? They’re like a mountain of junk food.

I saw a fat kid and said ‘you’re gonna need a ladder to reach the ceiling’ and he cried.

My boss is an obecist. He said I was ‘too round to be trusted’ and made me work weekends.

My cousin is an obecist. He yells at me for being ‘too big’ but eats three slices of pizza like it’s a war crime.

I told my friend he looked like a donut and he said I was an obecist and called me a ‘sugar-coated disaster’.

My teacher said I was ‘too chunky to be smart’ and I got a D even though I knew all the answers.

My uncle is an obecist. He says I’m ‘sinning by being too big’ but eats a whole cake for breakfast.

My friend’s mom called me a ‘walking sin’ and still made me do push-ups for eating a burger.

My brother said I was ‘too fat to be cool’ but he ate six burgers and still said I was ‘the worst’.