Obazda

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Dating a butcher means you'll be eating meat like it's your job. You'll also be touched, squeezed, and weighed like a side of beef.

My boyfriend said I was 'tender enough for a roast' and then pinched my arm.

She called me 'well-marbled' and then smothered me in brisket.

He weighed me and said I was 'a bit fatty' and then fed me ribs.

If you're dating a butcher, you'll be eating meat every day. And if you don't like it, you'll be beaten with a cleaver.

He told me I was 'gristle' and then hit me with a knife.

She said I was 'overcooked' and then threw a leg of lamb at me.

He called me 'a tough cut' and then kicked me out of the meat locker.

Dating a butcher means you're always eating meat. You also get tested like a steak, pressed like a porterhouse, and grilled like a ribeye.

He 'tested' me with a meat thermometer and then said I was 'well done' and not 'medium' like I wanted.

She pressed me with a mallet and said I was 'tender enough for a tenderloin.'

He grilled me about my weight and said I was 'a bit charred on the outside.'