Obamaspeak

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Lying through your teeth and then acting like you’re telling the truth because you said it first.

'I never saw that man in my life!' said the guy who was with him the whole time.

'This is a total disaster!' said the person who caused it.

'I’m not doing anything wrong!' said the person who was caught red-handed.

Saying one thing today and the exact opposite tomorrow like you have a mental disorder and a bad attitude.

'This is the best plan ever!' said the guy who didn’t even think it through.

'I’m not going to say anything!' said the person who talked the whole time.

'I don’t need help!' said the person who asked for it three times.

Making up stories so fast you don’t even know which one is real and you don’t care.

'I was there the whole time!' said the person who was asleep.

'I didn’t do anything wrong!' said the person who broke the law.

'I never said that!' said the person who said it twice.

Changing your story like it’s a fashion trend and you’re the most popular kid in school.

'I didn’t know that was happening!' said the person who was right there.

'I didn’t ask for that!' said the person who begged for it.

'I didn’t mean to say that!' said the person who said it three times.

Telling the truth when it’s convenient and then making up a whole new lie when it’s not.

'I didn’t do it!' said the person who did it.

'I never saw that!' said the person who was watching the whole time.

'I didn’t ask for help!' said the person who was screaming for it.