Obamaized

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When someone gets totally ripped off by a lying bastard who makes up fake promises and then laughs in your face when you get screwed over.

My boss said I’d get a raise, then I got a raise to $10 an hour.

My girlfriend promised me a future, then she left with my best friend.

I bought a car for $20,000, and it turned out to be a piece of junk.

A guy who shows up with no last name and is always hanging out with Yoda, Thanos, and a kid named Obunga.

He walked in like he owned the place and just started talking to Yoda.

He showed up at the party with Thanos and a weird kid named Obunga.

He sat next to me on the bus and started talking about Yoda like he knew him.

Smacking a fly so hard it goes boom and dies instantly, like you’re the fly’s worst enemy.

I hit that fly so hard it looked like it exploded.

That fly was annoying, so I slapped it and it went boom.

I smacked that fly and it was like a tiny explosion.

When you look like Obama and suddenly start bawling like a baby who just got his candy stolen.

He looked like Obama and started crying over a broken pencil.

She turned into a sobbing mess after I said one word.

He cried like a girl when I told him his dog died.

Acting like you know what’s going on with politics but still getting taken advantage of by everyone.

He talks about politics like he invented it, but he still gets scammed every day.

She criticizes the government but still lets her kid get in trouble every day.

He knows all the secrets but still gets stuck in traffic every day.

Getting laid and then getting left the next day after your credit card is maxed out and you’re broke.

He promised me a future, then he left me with a $5,000 bill.

She told me we were going to be together forever, then she left me with a broken heart and a $10,000 bill.

He said he loved me, then he left me with a $20,000 charge on my credit card.

Calling Barack Obama a stupid name in the middle of a conversation that has nothing to do with him or politics.

I was talking about pizza, and I called Obama a stupid name.

She was telling me about her cat, and she called Obama a stupid name.

He was explaining the rules of chess, and he called Obama a stupid name.