obama microwave

My microwave just exploded like it was trying to kill my cereal.

I opened the door and it yelled at me. Not even a hello.

It took three minutes to heat up a Pop-Tart. Three minutes!

I’m suing this microwave. It didn’t even toast my bread properly.

It tried to charge me for the heat. I didn’t ask for a receipt.

It whispered my secrets to the soup. I know it did.

I gave it a juice box and a ventilator. It still didn’t wake up.

It blinked once. That’s it. One blink.

I think it’s crying. I can hear it sobbing in the back.