ob with obt

Fresh

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A wrinkled, smelly old lady who smells like expired pizza and regret

She showed up to the party in a tube sock and a t-shirt that said 'I survived 2003'

Her grandkids left her at the mall because she tried to buy a tampon and asked the clerk if it was 'the same as a chocolate bar'

She texted me at 2 a. m. saying 'I think I have a new boyfriend' and it was just her cat

A woman so old she probably remembers when the internet was a thing you had to pay for

She told me she had a ‘big break’ in 1998 and it was just her getting a coupon for bread

She tried to start a TikTok and it was just her screaming into a toaster

Her ‘fitness routine’ is just walking to the fridge and back

A human version of a moldy sock that also has a job

She showed up to work wearing a bathrobe and a crown made of hair clips

She tried to explain the plot of 'The Lion King' and it was just her yelling about ‘lions and hats’

She called her boss ‘honey’ and then asked for a raise in pig Latin