Oatmeal Man

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1
The stiff on the oatmeal box wearing a silly hat. The reason why kids throw their oatmeal at the wall and laugh when it hits.
My kid said the Oatmeal Man looks like my uncle after he drinks whiskey.
That Quaker guy on the box is why I hate breakfast.
I wish the Oatmeal Man would come to school and fight my math teacher.
2
A politician who only cares about the rich. The kind of person who thinks a donut is a good meal.
That old politician is the Oatmeal Man of politics.
He’s the Oatmeal Man of the city, he takes all the money and gives us crumbs.
The Oatmeal Man is in charge now, and we’re all screwed.
3
A person with skin that feels like a bowl of mush. The kind of person who looks like they’ve been sitting in a soup pot.
My cousin’s skin is like oatmeal. I’ve touched it, and I’ve never been the same.
That guy looks like he’s been dipped in old oatmeal.
I’d rather eat a whole box of cereal than touch that man’s face.
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