Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

a breakfast made with hot oats and water. it tastes like heaven, and it’s not your mom’s vagina, you horny little shits!

My grandma’s oatmeal is so good, it should be illegal.

I eat oatmeal every morning, and I’m not even a vegan.

That oatmeal is so good, it made my ex jealous.

2

grits, but with a fancy name and a bigger attitude. it’s like grits, but for rich people who think they’re cool.

Oatmeal is just grits with a college degree.

If grits were a celebrity, oatmeal would be their agent.

I eat oatmeal, and I don’t even know what grits are.

3

the only thing that can stop the spread of aids. it’s like a miracle in a bowl, and it doesn’t even charge you.

Oatmeal is the only thing that could save me from aids.

If I had to choose between aids and oatmeal, I’d pick oatmeal.

Oatmeal is like a doctor, but for your ass.

4

the most delicious thing in the world. it gives you energy and makes your brain feel like it just got a promotion.

Oatmeal is the reason I can do math in my head.

That oatmeal was so good, it made me forget my ex.

I eat oatmeal and I feel like a superhero.

5

the reason you can’t get laid. it’s like a block in your pants, and it’s not even your fault.

I haven’t had sex in a year because of oatmeal.

Oatmeal is the reason I look like a monk.

That oatmeal is like a relationship blocker.

6

a word that means your vagina, and it’s used by both guys and girls. it’s like the best secret ever.

My vagina is called oatmeal, and it’s my favorite name.

He said my oatmeal was cute, and I blushed.

We talked about oatmeal, and it got awkward.

7

what a drunk person says when they try to say hook me up. it’s like a failed attempt at being cool.

He said ‘hook me oatmeal’ and I died.

My friend tried to say hook me up, but it came out as hook me oatmeal.

That drunk guy just said ‘hook me oatmeal’ and I laughed.