oatliness

Fresh

0 views · Added 16h ago · 4 definitions

How much something resembles oats, like if it was a sad version of a breakfast food.

My soup tastes like oatmeal that cried itself to sleep.

This milk is so oatly, it’s basically a grain with a side hustle.

That cereal is so oatly, it’s like oats took a break from being a cereal.

A fake farmer who thinks they’re cool because they never had cow boobs and never admit they buy their Halloween costumes from Target.

Hey, did you know I was cow boob-free before you were even born?

I would never wear a store-bought Halloween costume, ever.

I’m so basic, but I let you call me alt.

When you’re out of Oatly, you’re like a zombie searching for brain juice, and you go to the other side of the world just to find more.

I flew to Tokyo for Oatly and came back with a headache and a bag of it.

I ran out of Oatly and started crying in the grocery store.

I drove three hours just to get more Oatly.

A fake cool drink for people who like kids who aren’t even out of puberty yet and think that’s the height of sophistication.

I’m into Oatly because it’s like a drink for prepubescent kids.

That Oatly is basically a love letter to little kids.

I only drink Oatly because it’s the adult version of a child’s juice box.