oath of office

I (state your name) lick your balls and promise to never let you down, so help me God.

I (state your name) will lick your balls and keep you from getting fired, so help me God.

I (state your name) will lick your balls and defend the Constitution with my last breath, so help me God.

I (state your name) suck your cock and swear I won't fail you, so help me God.

I (state your name) will suck your cock and keep you from getting kicked out, so help me God.

I (state your name) will suck your cock and protect the Constitution like it's my last meal, so help me God.

I (state your name) eat your nuts and promise to never let you die, so help me God.

I (state your name) will eat your nuts and keep you alive, so help me God.

I (state your name) will eat your nuts and save the Constitution from getting destroyed, so help me God.