oakwoakoss

Fresh

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When someone rants about something nobody wanted to hear or needed to know.

My cousin talked about his cat's hair for 20 minutes. Nobody asked for it.

My teacher explained how to tie a shoe like it was a life-or-death situation. I was wearing sneakers.

My mom told me about her day at the grocery store. I didn’t ask for that.

When someone goes on a long-winded story about something that didn’t happen and no one cares about.

My friend told me about his 3rd cousin’s dog’s favorite toy. It was not interesting.

My dad said his boss’s mom’s parakeet had a fight with the microwave. Not cool.

My neighbor talked about her sister’s husband’s brother’s job. I was half asleep.

When someone talks about something like it's the most important thing ever, but it's not.

My brother said his pizza was the best pizza in the world. It had pineapple on it.

My teacher said the moon landing was the most important event ever. It was 50 years ago.

My mom said her coffee was the best. It was just black.

When someone starts telling you about something that's not your business and never will be.

My uncle told me about his ex's new dog. I don't know him.

My teacher started talking about her cat's bedtime routine. I didn’t ask for that.

My friend told me about his cousin’s fish’s sleep schedule. I was confused.

When someone talks about something that's not happening and probably never will happen.

My cousin said his goldfish was going to win the Olympics. It didn’t even know how to swim.

My dad said his boss was going to retire and take a trip to Mars. He still works.

My neighbor said her cat was going to be a movie star. It just naps.