Oak beater

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A guy who beats up trees in the woods like they owe him money and then drags the wood home to burn it in the fireplace

My uncle is the worst oak beater. He beats trees until they cry.

That guy beats trees so hard, the forest runs away from him.

I saw an oak beater beat a tree so hard, the tree called 911.

A man who takes a stick and gives trees a real beating until he has enough wood to burn the whole town down

That oak beater beats trees like they’re his ex.

I’d rather be beaten by a tree than be an oak beater.

He beats trees so much, the forest is on strike.

A guy who beats trees for fun and then uses the wood to light a fire so big it scares the neighbors

My dad beats trees like they’re his enemies.

That oak beater beats trees so hard, the wood is angry.

He beats trees so much, the forest has a restraining order.