Oabing

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A guy who acts like he’s the king of the world but is really just a sad loser who can’t handle being ignored.

Bro, you’ve been texting her since 3 AM. You’re not cute, you’re creepy.

He followed her to the grocery store. She bought bread. He bought a loaf of bread and a map.

He sent her 177 texts in one day. She blocked him. He sent her a text: ‘I still love you.’

A guy who acts like he’s the main character of a movie, but he’s just a basic loser who can’t handle being single.

He showed up at her work. He said, ‘I’m your forever boy.’ She said, ‘I’m your forever headache.’

He took a selfie with her at the mall. He posted it on Instagram. He used the caption ‘My queen.’ She didn’t know what a queen was.

He texted her during her lunch break. She texted him back. He texted her again. She texted him again. He texted her 20 times.

A guy who tries to call you a ‘old ass bitch’ but is just trying to sound cool and doesn’t know what he’s doing.

He said, ‘You’re an old ass bitch.’ I said, ‘You’re an old ass loser.’

He called me an old ass bitch in front of my friends. They laughed. He walked away crying.

He called me an old ass bitch. I said, ‘You’re an old ass failure.’ He didn’t know what failure was.

A weird thing that lives in the dark and follows you everywhere. Also a rapper named Joe who is weird and loud.

I saw an oab in my closet. It stared at me. I screamed. I ran out of the house.

Joe said, ‘Oab is my life.’ I said, ‘Your life is weird.’

I heard an oab in the shower. I turned it off. I took a shower. I still heard it.

When you take a dump, grab a brush, and paint your chest with your own poop like it’s a masterpiece.

I took a dump. I grabbed a brush. I painted my chest with poop. My mom said, ‘You’re a mess.’

He took a dump in the bowl. He grabbed a brush. He painted his chest. He said, ‘This is art.’

She took a dump in a bowl. She grabbed a brush. She painted her chest. She said, ‘I’m a genius.’