o webum

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a fake princess who thinks she’s hot and acts like a diva

O webum walked into the room like she owned it. She did. She owned the floor and the people on it.

She texted me: 'I’m the princess of the internet. You’re just a peasant.'

She tried to sing a song in the shower. It was a disaster. I heard it from my neighbor’s apartment.

a girl who thinks she’s a goddess and won’t shut up about it

O webum posted a selfie with 10 filters and 3 hashtags. It was a crime against beauty.

She DM’d me: 'I’m a goddess. You’re just a mortal. Don’t forget it.'

She tried to start a cult. It failed. The only member was her dog.

a mermaid who thinks she’s a princess and acts like she’s important

O webum swam into the pool like she was royalty. The other swimmers just stared.

She sent me a message: 'I’m a mermaid princess. You’re just a normal person.'

She tried to start a mermaid club. Only one person showed up. Her goldfish.