O gel

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A sticky goo that makes women’s privates tingle like they’re getting a free happy ending from a very rude massage therapist.

My aunt said it’s like having a raccoon inside her pants.

My cousin’s dog tried to lick it off her leg.

My teacher used it during lunch break and got caught.

A smelly cream that turns a normal squish into a full-blown explosion of delight, like a firecracker in a sock.

My mom said it made her feel like she was on a rollercoaster.

My brother’s girlfriend used it during a Zoom call.

My neighbor’s cat tried to eat it.

A greasy substance that makes women’s bits feel like they’re being tickled by a thousand tiny monkeys.

My friend’s dog got it on his face and started dancing.

My brother used it during a family dinner and got yelled at.

My grandma said it’s the only thing that makes her laugh anymore.