O-Dawg (Yung Pickle)

He said he'd come back for the kid, but he left before the baby even cried.

He had a kid with my cousin and then disappeared like he was chased by a moose.

He took my little sister to the mall, came back with a baby, and ran out of the store like he had a fire on his butt.

He left my sister with a baby and a coupon for 20% off cereal.

He got my friend's daughter pregnant and then went to the gas station like nothing happened.

He had a kid with my neighbor and now he's pretending he's a vegan.

He left my cousin with a baby and a promise he'd come back when the pizza was gone.

He got my little brother's friend pregnant and then ran like he was being chased by a cheese truck.

He had a kid with my friend and now he's bragging about how he's a dad, but he's not even there.